THOSE KILLER CARROTS

Rush Limbaugh used results of a recent study by Brigham & Women's and Harvard scientists to poke fun at how liberals use fear in order to scare the hell out of people. Make people scared enough and they elect a liberal to make their lives safe again.
The study found that kids age 12-14 get fat from drinking too much milk. And skim milk was found to be worse than regular milk.
Rush pointed out that Big Milk, like Big Oil and Halliburton, cleverly deceive the public. You know, all those cute photos of kids with milk mustaches. All those NASCAR drivers raising a glass of milk after winning the race.
Then, taking it further, Rush reminded us all of even more insidious dangers lurking out there and making us sick and dead. Big Milk at least advertises its products, but have you noticed that Big Carrots never runs ads for its products?
Yes, friends! Who suspects the horrors to our health from eating carrots?
A study has shown that everyone killed in auto accidents in the last five years had eaten carrots often in their lifetime.
Those who went blind or deaf had eaten carrots within months of losing their sight and hearing.
All cancer victims surveyed had eaten carrots often, even when their mothers forced them to do so as a child.
Virtually all who were injured by slipping and falling on ice confessed to having ingested carrots on a regular basis. Some even on the day they fell!
In light of this, Big Carrots cleverly sneaks the dangerous product onto our plates with clever deception. Remember all those cute Bugs Bunny cartoons. Bugs steals the carrots from Elmer Fudd's garden. Kids watch these cartoons and believe that it's not only O.K. to raid your neighbor's garden, but that it's O.K. to snap a carrot as well!
Why, there's no end to this danger from Big Carrots and their corporate greed.
Thank you, Rush, for reminding us how grateful we all should be to scientists and the studies they provide.